Real and Alive

What I enjoy most is being out in nature, in the woods, a meadow, or even my small back yard. It brings me to life in a way thinking doesn’t. It’s real and alive, and in it I feel the same.

This choice to have aliveness is there when I’m there, and it passes me by when I drift out of that frame of mind.

Eventually, the distractions and business of daily life catch up and grab hold of me. I must do, do, do. This urgency gnaws at me to go in a different direction, to give attention to something that is less enlivening and, in fact, feels rather “flat” because of yet unformed, scattered thinking. Passion is on hold until my creative muse appears.  

Stillness and inner peace have left, too, like a dog let off its leash that disappears to sniff about in aimless wandering. I dig in, trying to imagine what is expected in a blog about connection and how to measure up to it even as I become disconnected. I am sensing missing closeness to something in the moment, in a bonded sort of way. The avalanche of thoughts I’m experiencing is overwhelming and buries the present moment in them. I am in no man’s land, where boundaries are undefined and clarity is lacking. I have solitude and quiet to write in, but where is joy?

And then I am saved. I glance out the window. Several small brown birds have landed in my back yard and are pecking around for insects or leftover black oil sunflower seeds I scattered yesterday. I am curious and fascinated as I watch their movements, excited with anticipation and wonder over when they will find their desired food. I have become fully engaged in observing their process and the awesome rhythms of nature. As the birds continue their work, now so do I. My heart has been emotionally filled by this experience, and I am mentally inspired. I can start typing again.